Oh come all you children

by Annette Schwindt

My best friend thought she couldn’t get pregnant.
That’s what she thought.
Until yesterday.

She has gone through a lot of horror: innumerable examinations at her gynaecologist, a hormon therapy, a surgery, she even went to see a Chinese healer that could see on her tongue when she had had her last ovulation. She only drank green tea instead of coffee, took care of eating wholefood only, abjured chocolate and alcohol and finally…

Finally she ended up in a self help group. In the autonomous women health center, as she reported half fascinated half disgusted.

Women were wearing violet jogging trousers there and adressed each other with „You know, I’m Gudrun“. The group sessions were mainly including sitting in a circle on mats on the floor, a cup of moon-phase-tea always beside them and then starting to sing Indian ritual songs on their uterus. In the upper level of the meetings you could also try and model your vagina in clay, she said.

My best friend was quite sceptical to all of this.

Cause that day, one of her selfhelpers announced that she had dreamed that Gudrun was pregnant with twins. And Gudrun – very embarassed – said yes, she was expecting twins. And this while sitting in a self help group for women who cannot have children.

My best friend went home to tell another friend’s answering machine in the middle of the night about this beause this friend couldn’t have children so far either. The friend called back the same night, telling her all in tears that they found out it wasn’t her fault but the one of her husband. They just were told that his sperm wasn’t quick enough!

So as my best friend is a very practical woman and her husband a medically declared quick one, she bought herself a big bottle of champagne and a huge bar of chocolat and prepared an unexpected welcome for her husband.

Today she called me to tell me about her dream: a pregnant Indian woman that models three singing Chinese from chocolat…